the mundane- the sweet spot

A few months ago, actually Mother's Day to be exact, I decided to not get on Facebook anymore (although I am linking this to FB, bc the few people who read this little 'ol blog, click through from there I think.  I also still check my FB messages, I just avoid the actual newsfeed and anyones, including my own, profile).  I had went back and forth for awhile about just getting rid of my profile, but b/c of two ministry profiles that I had to post on, I kept deciding not to.  Well, I talked to a friend and asked if she would take over the Ladies Ministry page for me and post on there and then we asked one of our older teens to take care of the youth profile.  Facebook is a wonderful and useful way of communicating with a big number of people very quickly.  I had quit putting anything personal, pictures of my kids(unless I was tagged) for almost a year or two.  I had been feeling for awhile that FB was doing something inside my heart.  I would spend too much time reading about other peoples lives and not enjoying my own.  Silly, but true.  I think as adults, we don't feel like those sorts of things will affect us, but they really do.  I have always been strict about media- social or otherwise since I've had kids.  We stopped watching T.V. when Jude was 6 months old.  We have Netflix that we watch occasionally, but thats something thats easily monitored.  I have a rule that in our house, we can only watch Netflix on the weekends, and only play the wii on weekends (unless its summer break)  and I really always tried to apply this to me as well with social media.  I put my phone on silent up on a shelf while we are doing school, and only would take it down when it was free time.  I found myself spending most of that free time on social media, and it didn't make me feel happy or accomplished- it made me feel like I had to do MORE, MORE, MORE!! I felt like I didn't accomplish as much as this person, or I didn't do as many things with my kids as this other person, I didn't cook (at all! ha! I do not enjoy cooking!) really nice meals like this person.  I was a failure! :(  Now, Im being dramatic, but I did really feel like I didn't measure up to what it SEEMED like everyone else could do so easily.  I think these feelings creep in little by little, day after day and obviously not just on social media, but it sure wasn't doing me any good.  I feel like for some crazy reason, there is ridiculous pressure to be able to do all things and to do them all really well and to never have things go wrong or be overwhelmed by life.  Im telling you, thats just not reality!  I think its also become popular to "unplug" and do you know why??  Because, whether we think its juvenile or immature, media affects us greatly!! Whether its comparing yourself to others and not feeling like you measure up, or just simply the added stress of emails and notifications popping up every ten seconds.  It affects us- I don't know all the psychology on what it actually does to our mind and emotions, I just know how it affected me.  I felt like my life wasn't BIG enough, GRAND enough and frankly, that it was just boring.  So, I decided to just not look- I decided finally to stop looking at everyone else's life and to open my eyes to how wonderful my life already was.  Its routine, its mundane some of the time, its normal, everyday life, but its so so sweet.  I stopped comparing myself and my life to anyone else's and I asked the Lord to search my heart.  I stopped being so self aware and thinking when taking pictures "this is going on Instagram!"  Instead, I enjoyed the moment and wanted to capture it, just for the simple reason of looking back and remembering how good that moment was.  I felt relief ya'll- I was measuring my life by what God wanted me to be doing and seeing it through His eyes ( The Lord has REALLY been speaking this to my heart for about a year now- seeing things from His eyes-I'll blog about it sometime soon)  I just want to measure up to God's will for my life and I want to be content.  I don't have to be able to do a million things at once ( although with 4 kids that I homeschool and am with all the time, I still feel like I do a million things at once!! How do you working moms do all that?? You are all amazing!)  I just do the small, simple things that don't get seen most of the time, and I do it with the joy of the Lord.  Right now, I am a servant, thats the stage of life Im in right now and I have been praying for God to give me the heart of a servant, to be joyful in caring for the blessings He has given me.  To not wish this stage away- it goes so quickly and then its over.  So, this right now is my sweet spot- the place where my passion and my calling intersect.  And its a worthy calling- parenthood is indescribable in blessing.  It is truly one of the best, most rewarding things I have ever had the privilege of doing.  So, if you read the last time I posted, the Lord has been slowly working on me about being more vulnerable with people.  Its hard you guys!! I hate talking about things like this because I don't want to be judged.  So, Im praying this speaks to someone, and if not, it just felt good to get it written out ;)  Thanks for reading :)  I also wanted to ask if anyone is interested in any posts about homeschooling and kind of what we do, our routines, anything like that??  Leave a comment and let me know!  Have a wonderful day!