well, ya'll its sure been awhile! How, how, how does time fly by so fast?? I wanted to post on here, bc I do come back here every once in a great while to read through old posts and some of the drafts that were never posted but bring back good memories :) We have just ended our school year just over a month ago and Im soooooo happy!!! Im telling ya, when you homeschool, summer is just as exciting for you as it is for your kids! We have some plans for the summer, but not many- I just want to pitter around the house/yard and enjoy NOT doing stuff all the time. We will be doing summer reading program of course, Thatcher starts swim lessons Monday, and Thad and I are planning our 10 year anniversary trip for later this summer. We have been relaxing, playing in the sprinkler, and walking along the bike path. My kids make started making summer goals last year and we did again this year too- Jude wants to get better at soccer, research lots of different animals, and cook more. Elsie wants to get better at rollerskating, ride her bike without training wheels (finally!!), and cook more. Thatcher said he wants to get better at drawing people, learn how to swim, and cook more. :) I love these kiddos of mine and they are so precious and innocent and sincere. I hope that lasts awhile longer for them. What are you all doing for summer?
now for all you mommas- i wanted to share some things that i have been feeling/thinking and see if you can relate. lately, ive been kind of in a slump emotionally. i was talking to my momma and she said "I totally get it-ive been there!" and i think that alot of moms can relate to this- i feel like im alone. I feel like there arent really many of my friends that are in this stage of life that im in now. im not a newlywed, im not a young,new mom, i have 4 kids-which nowadays is an oddity, i stay at home, i homeschool, im in leadership at church ( which sadly, i feel like makes you have to put up a guard) and i was feeling lonesome. i told my mom that i was feeling sorry for myself for a couple days and then i just told myself "thats enough-take this to Jesus!!" so i was laying in my bed that night and just crying out to Him and all i could think to say was " i want to be KNOWN" and then kind of fell asleep talking to the Lord. i woke up the next morning feeling so much lighter- thats the only way i can describe it. i heard the Lord whispering to my heart- "I KNOW you!! I know every hair on your head, I know the desire of your heart, you are KNOWN daughter." Shew.......God loves us so much! Can you moms relate to this? Being a mom can be kind of a lonely thing sometimes, especially a stay at home mom. you are around people all day, but its little people- not adults, and man, thats a big difference!! You know what I mean?? i feel like we put boundaries on ourselves- we impose them on ourselves and it holds us back. I dont know if thats fear, or lack of experiencing letting things/rules/boundaries go and stepping out?? i feel like i limit myself on things that i do bc of my kids. not blaming them- its totally my fault, and honestly i think my kids would so be game for stuff that i think would be stressful. I need to let that go- stress will come, but worrying about it and not experiencing things just makes you feel lonely. I dont know if ANY of this makes any sense at all, but i just want to experience this journey on a whole new level. i want to be more hospitable, i want to CONNECT on a real level with other women.....and i want my kids to see that. i hope i dont sound super melodramatic, i LOVE my life, and i LOVE being with my kids, and i have wonderful,awesome friends that i love so much!! Life is just a roller coaster sometimes! Im so glad I have this little space to share things and hopefully get some feedback.
Im hoping to post here more often and want to say thanks for reading! will you pray for me? this is so totally out of my comfort zone to share personal things like this, but im feeling that nudge from the Lord to be more vulnerable with people. thats hard!! Please pray that ill trust the Lord and listen to His voice. Thanks friends, and also, please email, comment, text, call anytime :)
Honestly I get it! I have felt the same way basically since I moved away from Ohio (where LITERALLY all of my friends live) the only people I have here are Isaiah's family members.. And I don't really consider them friends. Other than that I don't have a single friend. There isn't anyone around my age here especially not with babies. So I totally understand where you're coming from. Most days I spend all day at home with just Lyza and I until Isaiah comes home. Then we just hang out as a family. Needless to say, I don't hang out with women who are encouraging me to walk closer with Christ which I desperately need and I don't have women that I am witnessing to which I also desperately need in a different aspect. Okay so sorry for my little word dump on top of yours but I kind of felt a little relieved that I'm not the only one who feels this way... Maybe God had you post this for my sake ;) and don't get me wrong I love my life but I would love it even more if I had some close friends to enjoy it with!
ReplyDeleteMost of us have been there at different times!
ReplyDeleteI think those of us who feel "different" especially go through these lonely phases. When we feel different, it's tougher to relate to others in order to really, really connect. When you do something out of the box like homeschool - you tend to definitely feel different. :-) Plus - sadly..it's a sensitive subject. It's tough talking to those who don't homeschool about homeschool, and that's tough because well..we basically eat, sleep, and breathe homeschooling and our kids. It's at the center of our every day. At least in my case, this is why I believe I've gone through the same similar lonely-like spells.
Moving to Iowa - although it's been hard to be away from family, it's blessed us with new friends who we relate to. There are so many homeschool families here. One of my closer friends here is a homeschool mom veteran (homeschooled all 6 of her kids - all through K-12) - she is a breath of fresh air , and I love just immersing myself in her wisdom.
Basically, finding other women who I can *really* connect and relate to has helped cure the lonelys. :-)
thanks for your comments guys! Ericka- miss you guys so much!! we need a visit soon!! Robin- yes!! I feel like homeschooling really makes you feel different- your. I feel the same way that it takes up alot of head space and when you dont homeschool hats hard to understand. I did join a co-op last year and Im SO glad I did- it has been invaluable to me as far as connecting with other homeschool moms/families. Thanks for sharing with me :)
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