word dump.....been a loooong time...

         well, ya'll its sure been awhile!  How, how, how does time fly by so fast??  I wanted to post on here, bc I do come back here every once in a great while to read through old posts and some of the drafts that were never posted but bring back good memories :)  We have just ended our school year just over a month ago and Im soooooo happy!!! Im telling ya, when you homeschool, summer is just as exciting for you as it is for your kids!  We have some plans for the summer, but not many- I just want to pitter around the house/yard and enjoy NOT doing stuff all the time.  We will be doing summer reading program of course, Thatcher starts swim lessons Monday,  and Thad and I are planning our 10 year anniversary trip for later this summer.  We have been relaxing, playing in the sprinkler, and walking along the bike path.  My kids make started making summer goals last year and we did again this year too- Jude wants to get better at soccer, research lots of different animals, and cook more.  Elsie wants to get better at rollerskating, ride her bike without training wheels (finally!!), and cook more.  Thatcher said he wants to get better at drawing people, learn how to swim, and cook more.  :)  I love these kiddos of mine and they are so precious and innocent and sincere.  I hope that lasts awhile longer for them.  What are you all doing for summer?
 
          now for all you mommas- i wanted to share some things that i have been feeling/thinking and see if you can relate.  lately, ive been kind of in a slump emotionally.  i was talking to my momma and she said "I totally get it-ive been there!"  and i think that alot of moms can relate to this-  i feel like im alone.  I feel like there arent really many of my friends that are in this stage of life that im in now.  im not a newlywed, im not a young,new mom, i have 4 kids-which nowadays is an oddity, i stay at home, i homeschool, im in leadership at church ( which sadly, i feel like makes you have to put up a guard) and i was feeling lonesome.  i told my mom that i was feeling sorry for myself for a couple days and then i just told myself "thats enough-take this to Jesus!!" so i was laying in my bed that night and just crying out to Him and all i could think to say was " i want to be KNOWN" and then kind of fell asleep talking to the Lord.  i woke up the next morning feeling so much lighter- thats the only way i can describe it.  i heard the Lord whispering to my heart- "I KNOW you!! I know every hair on your head, I know the desire of your heart, you are KNOWN daughter."  Shew.......God loves us so much!  Can you moms relate to this? Being a mom can be kind of a lonely thing sometimes, especially a stay at home mom.  you are around people all day, but its little people- not adults, and man, thats a big difference!!  You know what I mean??  i feel like we put boundaries on ourselves- we impose them on ourselves and it holds us back.  I dont know if thats fear, or lack of experiencing letting things/rules/boundaries go and stepping out??  i feel like i limit myself on things that i do bc of my kids.  not blaming them- its totally my fault, and honestly i think my kids would so be game for stuff that i think would be stressful.  I need to let that go- stress will come, but worrying about it and not experiencing things just makes you feel lonely.  I dont know if ANY of this makes any sense at all, but i just want to experience this journey on a whole new level. i want to be more hospitable, i want to CONNECT on a real level with other women.....and i want my kids to see that.  i hope i dont sound super melodramatic, i LOVE my life, and i LOVE being with my kids, and i have wonderful,awesome friends that i love so much!! Life is just a roller coaster sometimes!  Im so glad I have this little space to share things and hopefully get some feedback.

           Im hoping to post here more often and want to say thanks for reading! will you pray for me?  this is so totally out of my comfort zone to share personal things like this, but im feeling that nudge from the Lord to be more vulnerable with people.  thats hard!! Please pray that ill trust the Lord and listen to His voice.  Thanks friends, and also, please email, comment, text, call anytime :)
         

He's working

A couple weeks ago now our women's ministry had a decluttering/organizing class.  We had about 15 ladies that came to get some new tips on organization and to hang out and snack and chat with each other.  I had been looking forward to it, like I do with all our meetings, but this one I was particularly excited about because I love to clean and organize.  Yes, it's true, I find it relaxing and it is a major stress reliever for me.  I was anticipating all these great new ideas and ways to implement them into my home and life.  Well, I got those things, but I also got a whole lot more! Our guest speaker shared a message with us before she got into her tips and tricks of the trade.  She shared a message that she felt the Lord wanted her to share with us, and I'm telling you, she was spot on!! I sat there thinking, "this is for me, if for nobody else, its definitely for me!"  She shared the story of the talents.  She also shared part of her personal testimony.  It was a beautifully heartbreaking story that I could 100% relate to.  She shared about always feeling as if she had nothing to give, nothing that was of value that she was gifted with.  I have felt this so many times in my life.  I have felt the sting of jealousy at others' accomplishments, the wishing that I had the gift or talent that someone else possessed, but of course had not been bestowed with.  My best friend can pretty much do anything- She is organized, a wonderful mom, so gifted in talents with music ( guitar, piano, beautiful singing voice) an amazing artist, she loves to bake and is good at it ( people pay her to make cake pops and other goodies.) Basically, she is one of those people who can "do it all" and still be such a genuinely happy, joyful person who is always pleasant to be around.

 I have many, many friends who I could say many of the same things about.  As I shared in my last blog ( before this ladies meeting!)  I don't feel that I am particularly talented in much of anything.  As I sat and listened to her speaking straight to my heart, I felt the Lord's gentle nudging.  He has not given me gifts or talents to be buried hidden away, He has given them to me for a purpose and He has equipped me with everything I need to excel in those areas.  I have to just trust. Just trust, whew! Why is that so hard?  What are we afraid of?  We put way way way too much stock in what other people think of us.  I know we've heard that our whole lives, but we really do.. It's time to stop comparing and wishing, and just be what God created you to be and to be joyful in that!  I loved what she said toward the end of her message- "When our passions and gifts intersect with kingdom purpose, we have found our true calling."  Beautiful!!! I have been praying since that night for the Lord to show me what that looks like in my life and my family's life.  I want to foster that in my children! What an amazing gift to give your child!  I love Jesus and how He always works things out and shows us His purpose!  What are your gifts and talents?  Are you letting Jesus use those to have an abundant life in Him? Or are you burying yours for safe keeping?  Let the Lord use you and I promise- you will never look back!

Where do you find inspiration?

This past weekend I had the opportunity to attend the Great Homeschool Convention.  I had been looking forward to it for months ( I was looking forward to the conference, but also, really, really, looking forward to spending time without all my kiddos- I did have Atticus with me- and spending time with my best friend and her sweet baby girl, let's be real!)  I knew I was going to go and sit in a few sessions and get to look at all kinds of curriculum ( there were almost 1800 booths!!)  But what I didn't totally expect was how challenging and how inspired these speakers and families would leave me feeling.  I am the type of person who needs to be inspired by outside sources.  I'm not naturally creative or talented at much of anything.  I have to work to be good at things.  I read A LOT! I've always been motivated/inspired by literature and storytelling.  This is my favorite!  To Kill a Mockingbird
 I find myself doing lots of research about varying topics that I have an interest in learning to do better.  I read quite a few blogs.  Here are some of my faves lately:   http://jonesdesigncompany.com/,  http://paigeknudsen.com/,  http://www.flythroughourwindow.com/ Many of them are from seasoned mothers and saints of the Lord.  I listen to music quite a bit and am usually trying to figure out the harmonies.  I think this fall after Thad graduates, I may take some voice lessons.  I am very emotional about music- I think many people are like this, which is why music is so powerful- but I tend to listen to music that reflects how I'm feeling.  Lately it has been these musicians:

I say all this to basically just say: Be inspired! Its an amazing thing to talk with other people about life and to just be real and to learn so much from being vulnerable and open about your experiences and what you've learned.  I was so incredibly inspired by these families at GHC and how they were bravely making the choice to school their children at home and hearing their struggles and victories.  I am so thankful that the Lord is still working on us and that He has made us relational people that can encourage each other in our daily lives.  What inspires you?

oh boy!! back again!

Shewy folks!! Life is always full speed ahead isnt' it?  I have neglected this 'ol blog for quite awhile now, but lately have been getting the itch to write again.  I have no real "theme" for this post except maybe a "lets chat and catch up on life!"  I looked through some of my old posts and realized that the most recent one was right before or around the time I found out I was pregnant with our #4!  Well, #4 is now almost 9 months old and his name is Atticus Lee Williams. :)

 He is a precious little man who loves his momma ;) He is very attached and its kinda really okay with me! ;) I have a feeling this may be the last of our little family (maybe?) and I have honestly felt that with each child my okayness with their attachment has progressively grown, knowing how truly, incredibly fast they grow up! I look at Jude sometimes and I just can't believe I have an almost 8 year old!! Didn't I just graduate high school?!  Man oh man!
 We have grown in size, but our home hasn't- we are all still packed in 1600 square feet and its.......interesting! But I am so thankful for what the Lord has blessed us with and I have no complaints- in fact when we do sell this house, I know that I 'll be very sentimental! I brought all my kids home here and they spent most of their early childhood here.
Thad is about 4 months from graduation- Praise Jesus!!!!! I am soooooo ready for him to be finished!!! He is such a good man who works so hard for his family and I appreciate him so much!
Thad and I are both still involved in ministry at our church (Youth pastors and I'm the Ladies president)
I haven't been helping with youth lately bc of the little man, but we have had an influx of teen girls attending lately so I think its about time for me to head back in.  We have an awesome teen youth worker, Mike, but Thad says he needs a lady helping also.  Atticus probably wont be thrilled, but hopefully mommy Martha (a wonderful dear friend of mine that loves my babies) will be willing to help me out with the little guy.
Jude and Elsie are on Spring Break this week and Im loving it!!! Woohoo!!! Jude is actually in Missouri with Thad's parents and Elsie and the two little boys are at home with me.  We have about a month left of school (if I work it out right) and then SUMMER BREAK!!! I cannot tell you how excited I am for summer break!! Elsie is finishing up 1st grade and Jude is finishing up 2nd grade.  I have been doing a basic preschool with Thatcher this year and he has done so well! He knows his shapes, some colors, and all his letters and letter sounds.  We have also started speech therapy with Thatcher this year to help him along with catching up his speech.  He is progressing so well in only a few months- Im so proud of him!  Little Atticus is growing so quickly! He is crawling all over and getting into everything.  I held off on solids with him, so that is still a work in progress for us and he isn't the best sleeper out of all the kids.  He is still up every two and a half to three hours throughout the night!  I think another benefit of having more than one child is the fact that its gets so much easier to tell yourself that "this too shall pass," because you know from experience that even if, in the moment, it seems so hard and you're so sleep deprived, that it won't last forever (which is exactly what it feels like at 3 a.m.!!).
Well, I am going to end here for now. This post took me all day- I started it at around 10:30 when I laid Atticus down for his nap and I'm just now finishing up at almost 9!! We had a good day though, lots of outside play and the kids had a friend over for the day so I had just a few opportunities to sit down and write! I hope you all had a great day and were able to get out and enjoy the weather!

Busy Season

Busy season has started!! We are busy with getting everything caught up in school in time for Christmas break, decorating, winter-proofing, celebrating birthdays, and thinking of some gift ideas ( yes, I do realize that there is less than two weeks until Christmas, but.....this is how we roll EVERY year!) We also have lots of church events to attend and other things to look forward to, I love this time of year! I hope that you are having a wonderful time getting ready for this Christmas season too and taking time to remember why we celebrate! I will be back ( hopefully tomorrow) to show some of the ways we are keeping our focus this year, and more of what we have been up to! 

( we are all honestly feeling a little bit of this though too!! ;) )

Fall Lovin'

We are loving this fall weather- its so beautiful out and has been for the past couple weeks- we are gonna have a 60 degree Thanksgiving!!  The kids have still been outside playing a lot and tracking all kinds of leaves and dirt in the house. Fun.  But I wouldn't have it any other way! I love that my kids love playing outside, do you? I have to admit though, that there are times where it is beautiful out and the kids don't want to go out and I threaten them that Im gonna kick them out and lock the door ;) No, but I do sometimes make my kids go out and get in the fresh air even if they don't feel like it.  Its good for them and great for my sanity :) Here are some of my favorite pictures of the kids on the fall.

This one of Jude is probably one of my favorites of him of all time! I love it!

Love these kiddos- hope you enjoy your week and the weather is beautiful where you are! 

Have a great weekend!

This is a picture from the first day of school- they are so happy! We are feeling that way today too because its the weekend!!!  Next week we only have two days of school and then thanksgiving break!! I hope you have a wonderful weekend and enjoy your rest and your family!